TIRED.  i was sick for a week. i haven't been sick for a long time. going to be a really busy week. found out how much we willbe getting back on our taxes. not as much as i hoped, but enough to pay back cards and get on our feet so we can afford to not struggle for every-week things. such as,if i would like to go get some things from the farm stand, or if casey needs gas,etc. I would also like to buy myself a couple pieces of clothing. maybe some damn shirts. Ive been wearing the same thing for the past 2 years. im fine with it i guess,but it would be cool to try on some things,see what i look like. im almost overwhelmed with the idea. ill probably ask my friend emily. she will tell me honestly whats good. i like that.maybe a new pair of shoes too. ihave a pair of boots thats it. i cant wear those is summer. we are putting money away in savings too. soooo weird. one day a house will be in order. every year id say we buy furniture. well,casey does...so when we move it, it wont be empty at least. id like to move in, and spend extra money on fixing the big stuff if that needs to be done. you know, new water heater, windows, insulation, etc. realizing what my moms house needs over time, really helps me decide on what i want to buy in a house. it can look ugly as shit, but if its has a good foundation and the basic  needs are met, i can make it look good in time. paint is cheap,and i am super handy with tools,and carpentry. i can turn a basement into a nice finished one (if there isn't a mold problem etc) in a couple weeks. well, not by myself. i just know how.haha. i have to rent the drills,saws, everything you know. or borrow. buy wood. walls, plaster. primer, paint. i cant wait. i want a garden. i want herbs. i want wheat grass. i want peppers, tomatoes, flowers, some kind of fruit tree. i want a fucking garden gnome. maybe 5. i want to find rocks by the beach and put them all over. or put found objects in the back like broken sinks and fill them with flowers that look like bubbles. maybe just one.a fire pit. a couple chairs.i restore some old ones. there are so many old chairs at thrift stores in hammond IN in summer outside. ill paint them. i want a damn doggy door. a garage would be cool. with a driveway. oooo yeah. my friend dave would drag his little firepit in his driveway and we would drink beer and sit around under the stars, in lansing which was kind of weird since i personally never saw any stars. i can see my brother jack cooking out on my driveway,spilling shit everywhere. i could also see me giving lucas chalk and him coloring the entire thing. ya that sounds good. I want a table in my dining room with benches as seats. everyone has to sit awkwardly next to each other. haha. i found some at this place and they were cheap and made of wood. i might buy them. they come with a table too. i would love to have a sliding door to the outside backyard but hey, now im dreaming. i want a big bedroom with an old dresser, that ive refinished with new pretty paint to make it look even older with some green color.if i was reallllyyyyyy lucky i would have an art room. for me and lucas. ahhhhhhh. so thats about it. very nice. im sure theres more. im not sure though.i wrote too much already. maybe in time. in 4 years or so. 5.